Quite a crappy day today. I was incapable of thinking clear, of doing things, I felt like tied up. I would just stand in front of the computer trying to become coherent and categoric and decisive just as everyone around me expected me to be. Just that I wasn’t. I couldn’t. Then I got angry on my boss for not understanding this delicate situation. But he was right. I was @work. I was supposed to work at least in the low parameters.
But I kept thinking that this week I left the office at 10 almost every night. I generally do more than I am asked to do because this is how I feel like. I got involved. Can’t I be excused and understood for one miserable fucking day? Can’t he protect me? Is it so impossible for people around me to just understand that sometimes I CAN BE LOW?! But maybe this is the image I created for myself. I always take care of everybody. I never forget tasks. I am always responsible. Even annoying if you ask some of the guys. So when I am down, they cannot cope with it. They don’t understand. They just expect me to be as I usually am. So I guess I should just relax, take it easy, put a little distance between me and work.<\/p>\n