{"id":48,"date":"2005-05-20T12:13:00","date_gmt":"2005-05-20T10:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/constant-invasions-of-my-privacy.html"},"modified":"2010-08-16T19:59:51","modified_gmt":"2010-08-16T16:59:51","slug":"constant-invasions-of-my-privacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/?p=48","title":{"rendered":"constant invasions of my privacy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nothing new, just the story of my life. I\u2019ve always suffered from people\u2019s curiosity and from their sneaking into my privacy. So I guess it\u2019s nothing new, just another depriving of something of my own. I admit that the problem was WHAT I wrote, not that I wrote. It generated bad feelings and pain\u2026and lots of words, written and sa(i)d. I\u2019m dizzy and my head spins right now, I can\u2019t breathe easily\u2026 I realize that the past 2 years exhausted me in such a way that now I just can\u2019t face problems as I should, I\u2019m passive and weak, I need to run away from them instead of confronting them. This passiveness comes also from too many shocks and another one was too much, it just hit me and caught me unprepared and I just could react at all.<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s all so weird in the end. When I was 12 I had my first diary. My grandma found it, read it and judged me for what I had been writing, asking me to burn it. So I did. After that I had a number of diaries that were read by my mother, my father, my brother, a friend, all without having my permission. Followed by intrusions into my intimacy by my boyfriends\u2026the ones that mattered, in fact. And so, I come to judge my reaction: <\/span>I was not angry that something was read without my permission, but that what I wrote caused trouble and pain\u2026<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

And on top of everything, I feel I should go away, disappear for a while, because I\u2019m harming everyone around me: my mother is unhappy because I\u2019m difficult, stubborn and not close to her, my brother feels we don\u2019t talk to much, my friends don\u2019t know anything anymore about me, because I never talk or listen for that matter. And, of course, the worst is that I successfully regressed in a relationship that was starting to evolve. This is what happens when I try to make everyone happy. I tried to please everybody in my life, not to make people sad or depressed, and I failed <\/span>:<\/span><\/span>((((. So..you can imagine my conclusions, my mood, my thoughts. Not happy. Not happy at all. What should I do about myself in this life? How am I supposed to be so that things like that shouldn\u2019t happen anymore??<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nothing new, just the story of my life. I\u2019ve always suffered from people\u2019s curiosity and from their sneaking into my privacy. So I guess it\u2019s nothing new, just another depriving of something of my own. I admit that the problem … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[404],"class_list":["post-48","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hmmm","tag-privacy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1471,"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions\/1471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/anurim.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}