nothing…

yesterday, while ironing my skirt, it struck me: my parents hardly loved one another. I can’t remember seeing them kiss or hug or anything that would betray love. My dad would make fun of my mom and she would answer back to him and that was that. And now I think this might have affected me one bit… coz when it comes to family, I picture it based on a “life-contract” more than based on love. Although I couldn’t imagine not loving my husband (if I had one).

And I really can’t wait next week when I finally go home. I fear going to Deva because I haven’t been there since April 2003. I cannot remember the house with no furniture, with boxes all over. To me this house is still there. I’m afraid I might be tempted to go…. home. But that “home” no longer exists.

I’ll see my highschool mates though. We have our ten-years-since-finishing-highschool party. And in September I”d have been here for ten years already… dunno if it’s good or bad.

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2 Responses to nothing…

  1. Emce says:

    over the years…love gets different shapes and sizes between 2 people, it does not mean that if you cant see it, it was not there, you and your brother are a proof of their love, regardless of some harsh word said over the years…
    home is where your heart is.
    And it does not matter if it is good or bad that you are here for 10 years already, it’s just..IS.
    Sometimes … you made some people happy by being here, and this is always a good thing
    I know that you will find your home someday, even i wont be there to see it. I do know that cause you deserve such a thing

  2. Gregg says:

    I hope you find someone who will show you their love everyday of your life together 🙂

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