Autumn is not that bad

… after all. In afara de motivul recurent al vietii mele de dupa 2001, nostalgia dupa acel 1 octombrie cand incepea scoala, pana acum am urat toamna pentru ca insemna sfarsitul verii, care vara e de obicei misto, aventuroasa, easy mai ceva ca Sunday morning.

Insa toamna asta imi pare diferita. E frig (in casa mai ales, stau infofolita si-mi lipseste extrem o soba), insa am senzatia ca se vor tot intampla lucruri, ca e plina de evenimente si ca, pana la urma, faptul ca in sfarsit am cizme de cauciuc colorate, d-alea despre care toti baietii zic ca-s naspa, ma inveseleste si ma face sa uit ca tot orasul e gri si ca e intuneric deja cand eu plec de la munca.

Asa ca sper ca macar anul asta sa ies din patternul meu obisnuit si sa nu ma mai plang aiurea despre cat de urat e afara. I have better things to do.

Toamna o fi ca vara?

M-am plans de nenumarate ori pe blog ca vara asta a fost cam dezlanata. Si m-am resemnat, cand a dat frigul si a trebuit sa-mi caut hanoracul prin dulap, ca aia e, you win some, you lose some, let’s get over it. Dar toamna? La fel de dezlanata o fi si ea? Ca nu o vad prea bine, sincer, nici p-asta.

Bine, nu c-as fi avut ceva planuri marete pentru toamna, in afara de vreo cateva concerte pe care as vrea sa nu le ratez (like Morcheeba in varianta “buna”). Insa e vorba mai degraba de senzatia asta de lipsa de control asupra lucrurilor care mi se intampla. Sunt saptamani in care fiecare zi e o mirare pentru mine. Plec de acasa intr-o stare si pana seara trec printr-o gramada de highs and lows si ajung in the end sa ma intreb where the hell is this coming from. Si nu, nu mai e Mercur retrograd, ca sa zic ca am o scuza:)) (da, da, asta era pour les connaisseurs).

Dar nu-i nimic, ne dregem, pentru moment, cu un cantecel si mai vedem noi ce mai urmeaza:).

Toamna

Mi-e frig. La mine in casa e nasol cand e vremea asta cenusie. E si mai cenusiu inside si nu stiu ce veioze sa mai aprind si cate ceaiuri sa-mi fac sa ma simt cosy, sa am this home feeling I need. Am facut niste orez si am mancat in sila din el. Nu mi-a placut cum mi-a iesit mancarea azi. Am facut-o pe graba, mi-era extrem de foame, iar acum nu pot s-o vad.
Ma gandesc serios sa caut pilota de iarna si ciorapii grosi. Nush ce naiba m-a luat asa un frig…

autumn already?

I hate this weather with all my heart, it seems like the world is doomed again and it makes me feel down, as if i wasn’t already. Walk up with a feeling that something is wrong, of course this feeling could be induced, but last night I really felt that there was something going wrong between me and M. But then I thought that I might be wrong because I created this situation, I was the one acting strange and he is only reacting to this thing, he is feeling it and he is leaving me alone, considering this is the best way to deal with it. I really don’t know. I really don’t know if I should talk about it, cause it might hurt his feelings, saying “u know what, I thought this would be easy, but it ain’t, trusting u and all, I feel you’re hiding things from me, that you’re not being honest…”……bleah, hate this kind of talk, this kind of words. Well, today I hate the world and probably, as a reaction, the world hates me as well.