Living on my own

Every time I begin writing, something wrong happens. And every time I intend to write something comes up and I can’t, and then, when I have all the time in the world to do it, I have nothing to say, just feel lobotomized and stupid and this makes me even more nervous…. Well, this mostly happens because I am tired very often, struggling with many things in the same time….sometimes I get lost in translation:). Just like yesterday when I was so tired I could barely think and keep my head up…. I slept 7 hours out of 48, and I also had to deal with my 8 years old pupils who are normally very funny but yesterday was more like a contest of “who is shouting louder” or “let’s cheat on the test and see what happens, will she get mad?”… And after that, as I was walking home from the tram station, watching people, window shopping ( I saw a pair of cute shoes, I really like them), I suddenly realized that I hate going back to that lonely house… I like living there, I like the apartment, and I even like living alone sometimes, but yesterday I was feeling so weak and small in a world that moved so fast around me, that I just felt discouraged and alone… I needed someone to wait for me at home, I needed to get home and see the lights on, the TV turned on and somebody there….a warm house. That’s what I needed. Instead I got home and a gray air floated there, my turtles were like dead, they didn’t make a move…and that bed was so cold. And so I realized that living on your own is not all nice and funny as they say…sometimes you have to deal with moments like that.
And today is raining, a spring rain:). I noticed that every time the season changes, there is a period of intensive rain…it’s like preparing for the next season:). Well…as I said, I am weather dependent and this rainy atmosphere is very good for reading:). Oh, and yes, writing :).