crazy days

It’s been like crazy around here these days. I left my office no later than 10 in the evening and I’ll work during the weekend. I had one day off, today. Th worst part of it all is my feelings for what I do. I feel I don’t have any..landmarks anymore, I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong and nobody is telling me that. I feel people are kinda discontented by what I do and I never receive a hint that could motivate my evolution. I hate it. I hate it because I feel I’m blind. I’ll try to structure it as much as I can and develop a system of my own that could comply with work…but this would be damn difficult since I don’t know anything…about anything anymore.

But today was nice because I met my friend Corina from Luxembourg, she’ll get married there in September and I’m going! We established the last details before we go there and I’m looking forward to go on this trip. And yes, eat “mule”:)).

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vem vet

J’aime le passe. C’est plus rassurant que le present et bien plus sur que l’avenir.

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Salistea, formerly known as Cioara

I couldn’t believe my eyes, but there it is! I am from here! I mean, my father comes from this village and somebody having the same last name as I do discovered these historically interesting pieces.
No matter what, I am really proud that the village where I spent ALL of my summer holidays is in Wiki. Really proud!

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YES!!!

I’ve just found out, via Andressa, that Pink Martini are coming to Bucharest! Cannot believe it! Me Happy. And if Thievery Corporation would come in a duet with Gotan Project (I missed them because of Depeche Mode, remember?), I think I won’t need anything for my birthday this year:)).

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I wish

all I ever wanted when I was a kid was to become a singer. Then, a journalist. Then my parents told me I’m no good for a journalist, so why don’t I study foreign languages, at least I have a proper job. So I did.
But singing persists. Imagine this, all I want is to sing….in a karaoke bar:))). I mean, really, I picture myself sometimes singing a song I love at karaoke. It fascinates me more than anything else, how some people can sing so perfect, so complex… I guess I never did it because I was afraid of the attention granted to me when I would sing. I am afraid not to look ridiculous, afraid people could make fun of me. So maybe I’ll do it in a far away country, drunk, careless of what anybody would say about me or my voice.
Or maybe this persisted because someone told me I have a good voice. Not for singing, for radio, but well…that was the best compliment my voice ever got from somebody not emotionally involved with me. Dunno if he meant it though:).
This is what I’d just loooooove to sing.

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the first day of the rest of my life

I couldn’t have pictured this day at all. It was pouring outside, already an autumn atmosphere I hate, but I was ok. I couldn’t focus that much, I wasn’t really there, but I was ok. No tears.
He arrived safely home, I received an email in the morning. All day long, I read that email, almost memorized it, I read every word and missed him. I just miss him, that’s all. And now it’s not the worst part of it all, I guess in a month I’ll really feel he’s missing.
Now, I have to re-picture my days and I already have some plans, but they hardly include going out like we used to. Maybe I’ll be wrong, but I fill my days with work. That’s about it. But it was about time, isn’t it?

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?

There are only three days left. How can I concentrate everything I feel in 3 days? How can I feel anything while packing and managing stuff? How can I imagine my life from now on?

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back


I’m back. Not really happy that I am back. I’d just begun to get used to having sand in my hair, to the hot sun of the noon, to the loisir mood of that place. I am on vacation after all, I shouldn’t be here, in this dirty town.
I am here because I had to make a choice. I could have been selfish and stay, or caring and come. So I came. But … me not really happy.

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I’m leaving

Tomorrow I’ll be at the seaside. For very few days, indeed, but those will be MY days of rest. Do not look for me. Do not call me or ask about me. I’ll be just fine, trust me, better than today or any of the days of this shitty week that’s about to end.
I had a lot of pressure and trouble, since I wanted to make everything right and I failed. I tried to offer my best, yet people were unsatisfied. They hadn’t even told me so, they told someone else, and this is how I know it.
I tried to offer the perfect birthday at the office and I feel I failed. Nobody said anything bad about it, but I just felt it wasn’t what I had in mind.
Oh, well, hopefully tomorrow these will be things I couldn’t care less. I want my rest and I deserve it.
I am sure that many of you have heard this song. If you, younger guys, haven’t, well, it’s no loss, it’s just a song that marked an entire generation at the beginning of the ’90s

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one day


You’d say (for those who understand Romanian, of course) that this song is not appropriate at all. But this is my real mood. Cannot name it, put my finger on it, but in the middle of the summer, on my last day of work before a short and, hopefully, intense holiday, I shouldn’t be melancholic or something. Well, I am.
I hope I will be ok after this time off work. Hope to get some rest and find my inner equilibrium.

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