don’t you know that Rome wasn’t built in a day

Let’s say things haven’t changed that much during the last few weeks. C. is still in Barcelona, M is still calling me every god-damn morning to ask me how I am… He came home few days ago to see me and I can feel that he is desperately hanging to this “relationship”, he doesn’t want to lose me, but he can’t hold me since he left me.. He said he wanted to tell his parents about me. Oh come on!!! I thought, this summer I was unhappy he didn’t do it, now I asked him not to. I don’t wanna be official, I just want him to leave me alone, I want him to understand that we can be friends, but not lovers/a couple or something like that… I can’t talk about all things that make my life, but I can write about things that are important, persons that I consider worthy of mentioning… and so is this guy.. Eh, you’ll say that this is what my life was lacking: guys!!!! But it all started as a very pleasant Friday conversation and now… I kinda wanna see him, I feel some things about him… I mean I think I like him in a way (but I haven’t met him yet, so it’s kinda… I’ll see after this weekend) and things are starting to be coloured and cheerful again. And I start wondering if that’s what I need to be a little glad? Just a bit of attention from somebody I like? Maybe…

p.s. – OR MAYBE NOT… Perhaps all I need is someone to really care, difficult mission indeed, coz people who care about me, like M., don’t get much out of me, and those I think I care about don’t give me much.
p.p.s – I might get a haircut today, i’m sick of me like that. As a matter of fact, I’m sick of everything right now. Moods changed very quickly, I know…

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